An Invasion?

As I am not part of a married couple there are some things I feel the need to maintain privacy of. What exactly I’m not sure, but I just feel like opening myself up completely to another person is something to be saved for a certain union. That, of course, being marriage. Seeing as how I am not married, I become somewhat afraid when someone (my boyfriend) goes through my things (in the name of cleaning…. for the sake of my health [asthma]). I don’t know what it is.
Am I afraid there is some hiding lingering remnant of a boyfriend long gone? Perhaps a long lost piece of clothing thrown into a dark corner by a passionate lover? Maybe the powerfpuff girls toe socks I like to wear, but don’t show anyone, because I’m mildly embarrassed? Or could it be the dust bunnies I breed under the dresser? Am I afraid that he’ll think I’m a really bad housekeeper or a packrat?
At any rate, I seem to get bitchy and moody whenever he cleans, It could be for any of the above reasons, or maybe some that I’ve mentioned in previous posts . What ever it is, it just feels wrong somehow for him to be doing it. It makes me feel exposed, and I don’t like it.
But really, who am I to keep a man from cleaning?

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~ by Brandy on November 21, 2005.

One Response to “An Invasion?”

  1. Hi. Having only known you for 5 minutes, who am I to say…

    But you have your own answer in your first statement. Until you open up fully you are hiding something. I’m not sure that’s fair to the one you love now.

    But in reading that you lost your parents, I can see why you hold on to yourself. Maybe you don’t want that someone who loves you to hurt like you were hurt.

    Still, I would reconsider your thoughts about only opening up fully until after you’re married. Just give it some thought. Be 100% yourself. Don’t wait until tomorrow. It never comes.

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